My Experience With A Personal Stylist

18 years ago, I went to see a personal stylist and it literally changed my life.  In this month’s blog, I share an excerpt from my book “In the Jumble” to reflect on that experience and what it led to.

In 2006 I found myself staring into my wardrobe on the verge of tears.  At my feet were just about every pair of trousers I owned, and not one of them fitted me anymore.       

I’d had my second daughter about six months earlier, and I was due to return to work the following week.  My shape and size had changed so the only things I could still get into were a pair of maternity jeans and a pair of pyjamas.  I didn’t think my colleagues would be too impressed with me rolling back to work in a pair of tartan PJ’s so I reluctantly decided I would have to get something new.  The idea of trundling along to the shops in my baby sick t-shirt to find something to fit me was far from appealing. So I did what I always did when I got a bit stuck because I needed some clothes but didn’t know what I was looking for and didn’t have much spare cash; I went to the Next sale.  I managed to get a suit and a couple of tops so I thankfully wouldn’t need the PJ’s, but the pale grey pinstripe suit did absolutely nothing for my confidence, my colouring, or my figure.

A good friend of mine tactfully suggested a trip to see an image consultant to sort me out.  That visit completely transformed the rather dim view I’d fallen into that shopping for clothes was tantamount to torture and completely unnecessary because clothes didn’t really matter.  Actually the clothes themselves don’t, but how they make you feel and what they do for your confidence absolutely does – I know that now!  That day I learned why everyone always thought I was ill when I wore black, and how I’ve always looked a bit startled when I try pink lipstick.  I realized I should never have dyed my hair that shade of blonde, and I discovered that my love of flares was completely natural, in fact encouraged, as was a hankering for wooden jewelry and chunky knit jumpers.  

Looking back now, I can see that learning my rules of what suited me and complimented the natural me was something of a mild epiphany.  It really helped me to define and express who I felt I was at the time, to merge all the roles I had (wife, mum, sister, employee, friend, daughter etc.) and to feel more of a whole person.  I changed my hair, wiped off the baby vomit, bought some new clothes and ditched the utility trousers – why was I even wearing those?  I looked like one of those outdoorsy adventure mothers who would light fires and carry their babies in various impressive body slings.  That wasn’t me at all; I guess I just thought all the pockets would be useful. 

After my turnaround I remember buying a new outfit from Jigsaw for my baby’s christening.  It was a pair of linen trousers and a metallic loose knit top, which I put a teal belt over.  It was the first time in a very long time that I felt great about how I looked.  I really started to think ‘hell, yeah, this is me people!’  It was a fantastic feeling that I had completely lost in my life, and I know now that it was an important feeling.  Wearing clothes that really express who we are is what makes us stand tall, chin up.  It’s a caffeine hit of confidence right between the eyes.  It’s you, going out into the world wearing your identity.  When that happens the world says, “OK then, well this is awesome.”  The way other people interact and respond to you changes, improves, and this feedback makes you feel even more confident in your new skin.

It’s quite amazing actually.  I have of course made mistakes along the way; plenty. That day I went to work in a bright floral silk dress with a grass green cardigan and magenta shoes was definitely a mistake. Hawaiian Show Girl looks are no longer in my repertoire after that disastrous management meeting.  But looking back, the mistakes have been as useful as the triumphs (dark brown wool crepe dress that made me look ever so slightly curvy and got lots of compliments springs instantly to mind) because that’s how we learn.  And I can promise you that I’ve learned a lot.

The main thing my experience with an image consultant taught me, and what I now try to teach my clients is actually not really about clothes at all.  It made me think more about who I was, and what messages I wanted to get across about myself.  It made me more aligned with my true self, and able to express that through what I wear.  I stopped having a wardrobe of clothes that were earmarked for ‘work’, ‘home’, ‘best’, and ‘going out’ and just started having clothes that were earmarked for me, that I could wear across different roles I had in my life.  I felt happier and more confident, and freely able to express that through my wardrobe.   Yes, I was a different shape, and yes I was a couple of sizes bigger than I had been pre-baby, and yes at the bottom of my handbag was a couple of broken crayons and a half eaten biscuit, but suddenly that was OK.  I realized I had been using my change in size as an excuse to avoid shopping, mirrors, clothes, getting dressed.  Partly because I was, well, exhausted, but partly because it meant facing up to thinking about myself and who I was, and who I would become when I went back to work.  Underneath all of that avoidance was a fear that I wouldn’t be able to handle being a working mum.  Also probably some dread.  I loved my job, but there’s a whole heap of guilt thrown in when you have to drop your beautiful babies off at a nursery in order to do the work.  And I was also really enjoying my maternity leave – if I had been really honest with myself, I probably didn’t want to go back to work at all, and was avoiding making any decisions or provisions for it.  Wow, all those thoughts just milling around under the surface of me not wanting to find something nice to wear to work.

A couple of years later, and with the possibility of redundancy on the horizon I was brainstorming ideas for what I could do instead of work in my job.  I didn’t think international dressage champion was a very practical idea because I didn’t own a horse,  but I did keep circling around to image consultant.  I had finally admitted to myself that I wanted a career I could fit round my babies rather than the other way around and I knew I wanted to help other women.  I wanted to give them that skipping down the street feeling, that easy morning of picking out something to wear rather than heaping everything on the bed and reaching for the Sauvignon.  So, I started researching what it would take to become an image consultant.  I talked to people already there and asked questions, I looked at all the options and finally I was ready, and like my child self on the edge of the pool, I closed my eyes, held my nose and jumped in, belly first.

Rather than opt for a franchise business, I chose an independent trainer, worked my way through her excellent (and accredited) programme and started practicing on friends and family.  I even did a colour analysis on my husband while he sat watching TV!  Gradually I grew in confidence to be able to see the differences colour makes on other people, and over time I learned more about how clothes shapes can alter a persons look and it wasn’t long before I was up and running.

Having been a full time professional stylist and image consultant for the last 12 years now, I can say I have never looked back.  I love running my own business, and being able to create new products and ideas (like adding a dress agency and writing a book!) but I also love how I can bring in my values to my business to make what I do all about sustainability.  More on that in a future blog, but thinking back over the last 12 years and all the different women I’ve been able to help, I feel so fortunate that my friend suggested we see a stylist all those years ago, and that I’ve been able to use that in my life to help other people.  I never get bored of seeing how small changes in colour and shape can affect someone’s confidence, and I love helping people find treasures from preloved sources.  It’s a gift that truly keeps on giving!

If you’ve ever thought about becoming a personal stylist or if you’re a stylist looking to make your business more sustainable, do get in touch and feel free to ask me any questions!  And if you liked the book excerpt, you can get a copy of In the Jumble on Amazon now!